Sunday, January 9, 2011

DNA Tests for 3 easy installments of $29.99!

What a bargain!

Yes, folks, I am expanding my business to include DNA testing. I assure you, my accuracy is amazing. I used myself as a willing test subject. It turns out, I am half Clydesdale and half Monarch butterfly.

You can see the resemblance, no?

What do you mean you think I'm making it all up??

Au contraire! This is legit business, folks.

Let me introduce you to my friend Gatlin:

What a winning smile. Such a handsome devil.

Anyway, Gatlin's people got a DNA test for Gatlin (no, they didn't use my service). Yes, I'm serious. Go Swagbucks "dog DNA test". It's eye-opening to say the least. Gatlin's very "official" DNA report states that his parents look approximately like this:

What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are these
folks running? (It is of note that Gatlin's DNA test said that he's a mix of about 9 breeds). But really? A Schnauzer? Yorkshire terrier?

After seeing these results, and the obvious demand for these services based on the number of doggie DNA labs listed on the internet, I feel confident I can carve out my own little slice of the Doggie DNA industry.

My first paying customer? Fod, of course.

His parents? Actually, he's a pure-bred.

So who's up next??

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