Necessity is the mother of all invention

Guest post by my mom

And by "necessity" I mean "inept at cooking" and by "invention" I mean "improvised in ways that would horrify most chefs".

I made scones. I found this great recipe and decided I was going to make scones. You probably just went and looked at the recipe and thought "wow, that looks really easy!", right? That means that on the scale of Zero to Paula Dean, you are approximately 47 points ahead of me.

I did indeed make this recipe, but with a few alterations. Here's MY rendition of the scones:

Red, White, and Blue Scones

5 cups flour

3/4 cup sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 sticks butter Sticks, schmicks. I had margarine out of a tub. That's what I used.

2 to 2 1/2 cups half and half

1 cup raspberries No can do. Didn't have any of these. Period.

1 cup blueberries Since I didn't have raspberries, I used blueberries (2 cups of them). But I had frozen ones. Did I also mention I didn't plan ahead well enough and they were still frozen when I used them?....ahem.

In large mixing bowl combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and baking soda. Cut in butter with a pastry blender (Oooorrrrrrrrr, twirl it around in the bowl some with 2 knives). Or use the food processor in batches to cut in the butter quickly (I barely know how to put my food processor together, so this wasn't happening). Gently mix in half and half, just until mixed. Fold in berries.

On a lightly floured surface, pat dough into a 2 inch thick rectangle. Cut into 16-20 squares, depending on how big you want them. Place on a parchment or silpat-covered tray, keeping the scones about 2 inches apart. These will spread a fair amount. Right, about that parchment or silpat-covered tray. Uh huh. No. I actually used a cookie pan and cooking spray.

If baking right away, bake for 10-15 minutes in preheated 400° oven. Cool slightly before serving. Yes, I managed to do this part.

I am pretty sure by this time, my mother has said "oh jeez" approximately 13 times since she started reading this post (She's approximately 47 points ahead of Paula Dean on the aforementioned scale, so you can understand her horror). The modifications I made probably have chefs all over the world up in arms (because, obviously, they all read my dog's blog), but you know what? They were delicious. Yep. Totally tasty and I'd make 'em again! You have to admit, though, what I lack in cooking skills, I make up for in creative writing prowess.