Did I mention I work for Homeland Security? I do. Unofficially. Sort of. If we're being honest, they probably don't know I exist (except for that time I flew on a plane out to Hawaii), but they should. I do an amazing job of inspecting baggage. My people were gone this weekend (so I've been told by Fod. I slept for a glorious 68 out of 72 hours) and I had to inspect their baggage upon reentering the house. It's hard work as you might imagine. I'm spent.